Tips for a Happy Marriage
Common Health Issues

Tips for a Happy Marriage

No matter how much your pulse beats at the sight of your beloved, do not rush into marriage. Take the time to know each other. It will save you a lot of trouble later on. Do not marry anyone with the idea of reforming him or her. Remember, you are marrying an adult whose tastes and habits are well fixed.

Questions such as the following should be faced before marriage:

Will the wife work?

For how long will the wife work?

Can both of you live on just the husband’s income?

Who will manage the family income?

How many children, if any, should you have?

 

The following questionnaire will serve as a helpful guide.

Answer YES or NO:

  1. Do you like to spend most of your leisure time together?
  2. Do you agree on whether or not to have children? If children are wanted, do you agree on their upbringing?
  3. Do you enjoy the same friends?
  4. Do you have similar tastes in books, movies, art, and the kind of home you want?
  5. Do you both have the same basic philosophy of life? Do you share religious attitudes?
  6. Do you like, or share his (her) attitude toward his (her) parents? Is there agreement on ways you behave toward them?

 

Some comments on the above questionnaire are necessary. ‘YES,’ answers to all the questions would indicate a situation; danger exists only if there are basic antagonisms. Certain questions are more important than others.

 

There should be a positive YES on questions 1, 2, 3 and 6. In regard to question 5, it has been found that religious disagreements play some small part in disturbing a marriage. These differences tend to be worked out satisfactorily during courtship. After marriage, the problem is usually centered on the religious upbringing of the children.

 

 

Question 6 involves in-laws, who, over the centuries, have been the cause of many marital upsets. The courtship period is the ideal time to get to know them and make every attempt to establish a good relationship.

 

LOVE VERSUS INFATUATION

An adequate definition of love has troubled poets and philosophers from time immemorial. However, for the practical purposes of a successful marriage, ask yourself these questions:

  1. Do you feel a sense of oneness, each with the other? That is, do you consider the other person a part of yourself?
  2. Do you feel you can trust the other person? Does he or she give you a sense of security?
  3. Are you concerned about his or her welfare and well-being? Do you try in all ways to make the other person happy?
  4. Have you found that when you are apart from the person for a period of time, you still feel the same emotional attachment?
  5. Do you find that as you know each other longer, the desire to stay together grows stronger, and that you don’t grow bored as time goes on?

 

If you have answered YES to these questions, you may safely say you are in love. If you look over these questions again, you will also notice that they describe true companionship. A physical attraction is not enough to guarantee a happy marriage. But as one authority puts it, sex is the sturdy foundation upon which the house must be built.

How to arouse her desire for sex with you and How to turn her on

 

WHAT IS THE BEST AGE FOR MARRIAGE?

Generally speaking, the best age to be married is the age when one has reached physical and mental maturity. Naturally, this will vary with each person, but experts put it between the ages of 22 and 30, with the husband older than the wife.

 

Here again, numerous exceptions are found. In many a happy marriage, the wife is the older partner. The point is that the couple should be emotionally stable and mentally mature enough to withstand the stresses and strains of marriage?

 

Many people postpone marriage past these ‘ideal’ ages. However, we can assume that in the majority of cases, a man or woman who has passed the age of 35 without marrying has remained single from choice. This may indicate character traits that are not compatible with becoming a good spouse and parent. It is unwise and usually unprofitable to try to force a confirmed single person into marriage.

 

Do not neglect to consider the marital history of a prospective partner. Do not dismiss the fact that he or she has been divorced; be certain you have a good reason for believing that history will not repeat itself. Men and women who have been married and divorced several times are not good marriage risks.

 

Determination to make the marriage a success is one of the most important weapons against divorce. As one authority says, ‘Tolerance, understanding, and good humor are more valuable assets in marriage than a starry-eyed idealization of the other partner.”

 

PREMARITAL MEDICAL CHECKUP

When two people marry, they promise to live together in sickness and health. To start off in good health, a couple owe it to themselves and possibly, to their children to come, to have a checkup, preferably by the same doctor.

 

A thorough physical examination will determine whether either is suffering from any ailment that should be corrected before the wedding or whether for the sake of their health, they should modify some of their plans for their life together.

 

Ruling Out Venereal Disease

Before issuing a marriage license, many states/churches require a blood test to detect HIV, syphilis and other diseases. If either party has any venereal disease, marriage should be postponed until a cure has been effected. Whether or not a test is mandatory in your state/church, your doctor should be asked to carry out a test.

 

For example, undetected and untreated syphilis leads to serious physical and mental disabilities and even to death. What is worse, the infected mother may give birth to blind, deaf, and deformed babies. Fortunately, this dreaded disease is curable in any but its most advanced stages.

 

Another venereal disease that should be ruled out before a couple marry is gonorrhea. Unlike syphilis, gonorrhea cannot be discovered by a routine blood test. It starts as a local infection of the genital organs, and its detection requires inspection of these areas and perhaps microscopic examinations of their secretions.

 

Though not transmitted to unborn offspring, it may infect a baby’s eyes in the course of delivery and cause blindness. Gonorrhea too is curable.

 

Family Health Planning

The premarital examination is a god time to discover other health factors that may affect a couple’s future life together. Certain heart conditions, for example, make it foolish for a man to hold down some jobs, although he could do other kinds of work without endangering his health. Some illnesses, such as diabetes, make it dangerous for a woman to have a baby, although she could safely do so after the disease has been brought under control. Knowing of such conditions, if they exist, before you marry will enable you to avoid later disappointment and even grief.

 

Considerations for Future Parents

At some points during the checkup, the doctor will probably ask you both to give him all the information you have concerning the physical and mental illnesses from which members of your families have suffered. This knowledge will help him determine whether there is a risk that you may pass on to your children any of a number of genetic, or hereditary diseases. 

 

If the family history reveals the presence of one of these diseases, you will benefit from genetic counselling before starting your family.

Rejuvenate your marriage with our subliminal messaging album – start to appreciate your spouse more, be more willing to compromise and have a happier, more contented marriage. Learn more here!

 

Sources and References

Predictors of Willingness to Accept Pre-Marital HIV Testing and Intention to Sero-Sort Marital Partners; Risks and Consequences: Findings from A Population-Based Study in Cameroon by Derick Akoku, Robinson Mbu et al

Pre-Marital Genetic Counselling to Consanguineous Couples: Attitudes, Beliefs and Decisions Among Counselled, Non-counselled and Unrelated Couples in Israel by S Shiloh, H Reznik et al 

Regulation of Romantic Love Feelings: Preconceptions, Strategies, and Feasibility by Sandra Langeslag and Jan Strien 

Reader’s Digest Family Health Guide and Medical Encyclopedia: A Happy Marriage

author

Rich Health Editorial Team

Health Research

Rich Health Editorial Team is made up of medical practitioners and experienced writers who provide information for dealing with health issues in a simple and easy-to-understand manner