Child Psychology Basics
Building emotional security in a child is a challenging task. Nowadays, it is widely felt that the early years of childhood are critical in determining the kind of adult the youngster will grow up to be.
The mother and father, in their behavior toward each other and the child, establish patterns that may well have a lasting influence on him. This does not minimize the roles played by brothers and sisters, school, playmates and relatives in forming the emerging personality.
Child Psychology Basics
Childhood has its own special psychological or emotional problems. It is impossible to lay down precise rules for handling all these problems, but there are some general principles that can light our way in dealing with them.
Love Your Child
Never be afraid to show your children that you love them and want to understand them. Loving them will not spoil them so long as you follow certain commonsense rules of discipline
Discipline
Most young children look to their parents for direction. They become bewildered and confused if they are unfailingly allowed to have their own way. It is the parent’s role to set the limits in important matters. Yet, although parents must be authority figures, they should not be authoritarian.
Children should be encouraged to explore and learn for themselves. Parents should learn not to expect more of a child than is justified by the child’s age and development. A family atmosphere in which you are constantly shouting, “No, you must not do that!” is not a wholesome one.
Think things through and see if you aren’t being too severe. Perhaps you can establish new ground rules and make clear to your child what you expect of him. Most children desire and have need for their parent’s approval
Sleeping Problems
Every child has a sleeping problem at some time. If your child has difficulty getting to sleep, don’t just scold him.
Find out what the trouble is. Bad dreams may make him afraid of the dark. Perhaps you can solve the problem by reassuring him or installing a night-light. Provide a period of relaxation at bedtime so the child is not too stimulated. Above all, never punish a child by making him go to bed early.
Feeding Problems
Just as some children are poor sleepers, others are poor eaters. Don’t be disturbed if your child refuses his food. It isn’t wise to force him to eat. Simply take the food away—but not as a punishment. Usually by the time the next meal comes, he will be hungry enough to eat. Try to see to it that the child is relaxed at mealtimes, and the atmosphere is restful
Toilet Training
Many psychiatrists believe that good toilet training is important in providing the basis of a good personality. Don’t try to toilet train a child before he is ready, or make him ashamed of soiling himself. You may resent the smell and the mess, but avoid letting him see your attitude. He will generally take to the toilet easily enough when his organs are sufficiently developed to make control possible for him; usually this is in the third year, but it may be later or earlier
Sibling Rivalry
This term means the jealousy or dislike that exists between children in the same family. When a second child is born, the first one usually resents having to share the affection of the parents, whether he shows it or not.
It is important to prepare the older child for the coming of the baby and to get him to help in its care so that he feels it is his baby as well as his mother’s. Above all, let the older child know without reservations that you love him as much as the baby.
Emotional Problems of Adolescence
Adolescence is usually accompanied by a variety of emotional problems. The child has grown to physical adulthood and wants to be treated as an adult. He wants to make his own decisions. He sees his parents in a new perspective and is conspicuously aware of their weaknesses and shortcomings.
The girl may become her mother’s worst critic; the boy will frequently be in conflict with his father. Parents may feel that all of their efforts in child-rearing have been for naught and wonder where they went wrong.
It is helpful to realize that adolescents have always been in rebellion against their elders. The ‘generation gap’ is not a characteristic of just our own time; youngsters in the past may have had to conceal their feelings, but inwardly they reacted just as hostilely against the limitations and discipline imposed by their parents.
In this difficult period, parents would be wise to remember that while the adolescent is profoundly sensitive and insecure, he has at the same time a deep need to be recognized and treated as an adult.
Psychological support can be provided better by sympathetic listening and friendly but firm advice now and then, than by authoritarian scolding or constant nagging. Praise should not be withheld if it is merited. Adolescents complain with some justification that their elders see only their faults and never their good points.
Many parents find it possible to allow their maturing sons and daughters increasing responsibility and independence, while continuing to offer firm and sympathetic guidance. In such a family atmosphere, it may not be very long before a lasting, affectionate and calmer relationship is established.
References
Family Health and Medical Encyclopedia
Childhood Trauma and Psychosis: An Updated Review by Kate Stanton, Brian Denietolis, Brien Goodwin and Yael Dvir
Share This Article: